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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749957">Not now, but someday you'll understand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinPieTimb/pseuds/PumpkinPieTimb'>PumpkinPieTimb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SCP au [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>:), Alexis | Quackity Needs a Hug, Angst and Feels, Blood and Violence, Gen, Graphic Description, Karl Jacobs Needs a Hug, Karl Jacobs-centric, Mild Gore, Philza is god, SCP AU, Time Traveler!Karl Jacobs, Winged Alexis | Quackity, sorry quackity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:40:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinPieTimb/pseuds/PumpkinPieTimb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Why can't he save his friends? Why does he have to watch them suffer? Why is he such a failure?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Karl Jacobs &amp; Phil Watson, it's just minor though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SCP au [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not now, but someday you'll understand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is another fic I wrote for <a href="https://157-bees.tumblr.com/"> @157-bees' SCP au </a> on Tumblr! Please go check them out, the blog is really really fun!! I think it would be difficult to understand this fic without context, but... I hope you enjoy it anyway!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blood.</p><p>It’s all he could see. <em>Blood</em>. Blood everywhere. Karl covered his mouth with both hands, his tears starting to spill out. He couldn’t see anything but the blood all over the floor, the walls, <em>the ceiling.</em> Bile climbed up his throat.</p><p>“Pin him down! Fuck– Karl we… don’t just– hel... go get–”</p><p>He couldn’t hear anything. Not the alarms, not whatever Sapnap was saying, not the screaming and chaos. Not with the ringing in his ears. His eyes wander towards the thing he desperately didn’t want to see.</p><p>Quackity. Or rather… his body. It was all mangled and bloody and <em>lifeless</em> in the middle of the room. Karl sobbed loudly. He could barely even see anything because of his tears anymore.</p><p>There wasn’t even a single thing that can give him hope that Quackity is still alive. Karl wails as a pair of arms started dragging him away. He reached out with a cry.</p><p>
  <em>“ALEX!”</em>
</p><p>Then the world was black.</p><hr/><p>Karl opened his eyes with a gasp and he grasped at his pounding heart. <em>Blood. Quackity. Death.</em> He gags.</p><p>He looked around, frantically looking for the bloody room, the dead body, the flashing lights, or the deafening alarms. There were none.</p><p>“Karl, you okay?” Sapnap asked from beside him, rubbing circles on his back.</p><p>Karl looked at Sapnap with wild eyes. “No,” Was the only thing he said before rushing to the wretched room that he knows would haunt him forever.</p><p>He didn’t know if he went back enough. If this was even right. But he didn’t care. He needed to save Quackity, <em>fast</em>.</p><p>“Karl! What the fu–” Sapnap’s question was cut off by a blood curdling scream. Karl ran faster, pushing past researchers, d-classes, SCPs, and guards alike.</p><p>“Phil! PHILZA HELP!” Karl screamed despite not knowing where the god was. Phil would hear him… right?</p><p>Karl arrived at the door, he shoved his fellow guards (that were assigned to guard the room) away and started banging at it helplessly. “Quackity!” He cried out.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Phil’s voice asked from behind him.</p><p>Karl didn’t answer and kept banging on the door while Sapnap tried to pry him away. Phil got the clue and opened the door.</p><p>They were in time to see Technoblade throw away one of Quackity’s wings to the other side of the room and drop the D-class unceremoniously on the ground. Karl screamed in horror as Quackity’s limp body hit the floor.</p><p>He didn’t think as he ran into the room to scoop up his boyfriend. It was a good thing Phil was there or he would already be dead by the time he reached Quackity.</p><p>“Alex, I’m sorry. I’m so <em>so</em> sorry. I wasn’t here in time. I didn’t get to you in time…” Karl whispered over and over again as he rocked back and forth, nuzzling Quackity’s bloody hair. He’s gone way past the point of caring anymore.</p><p>“Don’t worry. He’s alive. You did good,” Phil said.</p><p>Karl sobbed as he held Quackity closer. Quackity is safe. He’s safe. He’s alive.</p><p>He’s alive… but Karl would never forget what he saw.</p><hr/><p>Karl released a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Quackity who lied unconscious on the bed.</p><p>Half of the d-class’ face was bandaged at the moment, but Karl has seen the wound underneath it. He’s pretty sure there would be a scar from Quackity’s left eye down to his chin, going through the side of his lips after it fully heals. Karl stifles a sob.</p><p>Maybe he should go back. Maybe he can do a better job. Maybe if he goes far back enough and not be a fuck up for once then maybe he could actually <em>save</em> Quackity.</p><p>He didn’t save Quackity. He <em>didn’t</em>.</p><p>Saving Quackity meant not letting the horrible things that happened… happen. Saving Quackity didn’t mean letting messed up researchers use Quackity as a test subject. Saving Quackity didn’t mean letting Techno hurt him. Saving Quackity didn’t mean letting his face get scarred for the rest of his life and get one of his wings cut off. Saving Quackity didn’t mean letting him live through the trauma he experienced. Saving Quackity didn’t mean Karl and Sapnap having to switch around to watch over Quackity. Saving Quackity didn’t mean… <em>this. </em></p><p>With new-found determination, Karl closed his eyes. He focused on where, <em>when</em>, he wanted to be. He pictured every detail and searched every timeline. He calculated the perfect timing to when he should go back, not caring if it would mess with the timeline too much. He really didn’t care anymore.</p><p>When he was finally ready to go back, a hand was placed on his shoulder. Karl startled and looked back at the person, it was Philza.</p><p>The old god looked at him evenly. “Don’t,” he said.</p><p>That somehow made something in Karl snap. He stood up and stared Phil right in the eyes. “Phil I don’t know what the <em>honk </em>your deal is, but I am <em>not </em>going to just let you stop me from saving another one of my friends <em>again,</em>” he hissed, shoving a finger at Phil’s chest.</p><p>Phil sighed and gently placed a hand on Karl’s wrist. “Karl, you don’t understand—“</p><p>Karl pulled away. “<em>What? </em>What don’t I understand? Phil you’ve stopped me from going back for so <em>many times already!</em> You didn’t let me save Wilbur from being muted, Tommy from being deafened, Dream from being scarred, Tubbo from being burnt, Sam from getting affected, and now you’re stopping me from saving <em>Quackity?</em> I have seen my friends die over and over again and I keep being <em>too late to save them and you keep making me suffer for it! </em>Why?! <strong>Philza</strong> <strong>tell me!</strong> Tell me what I don’t understand! I can’t keep seeing them get hurt when <em>I know </em>I can do something about it!” He demanded, tears freely rolling down his face.</p><p>Phil stepped forward and Karl took a step back. “Karl, listen—“</p><p>“NO! <em>You, </em>listen to <em>me</em>,” Karl cut him off harshly, he has long lost his sense of self-preservation and was no longer afraid of Phil’s abilities. “You’re a literal <em>god</em> Philza, <em>why</em> do you let them get hurt? Why do you let me suffer? You can alter realities! You can destroy worlds! So why? <em>Why?!</em>”</p><p>Phil took another step forward and Karl was too busy furiously wiping his tears to notice. He reached out to Karl and pulled the younger into a hug. Karl tried to pull away, but Phil held him tighter. “Someday. Someday you’ll understand.” He said as he rubbed the back of the sobbing guard.</p><p>Karl eventually gave in and went limp in Phil’s arms, just sobbing heart out and chanting ‘why’ over and over again.</p><p>He can’t save his friends. Why?</p>
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